Expectations.

It is undeniably sad when people say that i am sad because i am not grateful of the things in my life when in fact, i have been so grateful each and every day.
And that the sad reality is that they are the ones who have not been grateful.
Nobody wants to be sad, nobody chooses to be depressed.

People expect me to be strong, to be able to take care of them, to cater to their every need, to ask them "are you ok?" and hold their hand through everything, etc. I am glad and happy to do all of that for them.

But i also understand that i cannot expect or wish for them to do the same because as much as you can say with words that you care for me, you were not there when i needed you.
I try not to feel disappointed, i try to understand instead.

And it's the process of understanding, it is what makes me depressed and sad.
At the end of the day, i am still going to be there to care for each and every one of you. Because it is what i can do and it is what you expect me to.

Support.

I'll be back with improvements as soon as possible. Wait for me.

Although miles apart, please please please do your best too, loves. We're all in this together through thick and thin.

Home.

Minus the lack of updates because i'm swarmed with work and endless papers,

home is where the people that you love are ♥(ˆ⌣ˆԅ)

2016

2015 hasn't been so bad now that i've sat and thought to myself about it. Recollecting what once happened in a year of fast-paced going ons here and there left me with so many reflections specifically directed to myself, obviously. Ending 2015 with the love of my life, home cooked dinner and tears was memorable in its own way.

Anywho, a recap since it has been so long since i last blogged!

2015 gave me the chance to step outside of my box, to see more beautiful things in life from a different perspective and mindset, and to challenge myself to be more than just what i have initially thought of in my mind. It's still a long way to go, but i'm really enjoying myself so far.

2015, a year of seasons changing as well as other things that might have impacted the way that i am currently but i digress. Sometimes change can be for the better, sometimes it can be for the worse. Experiences are never for loss, only for gains.

2015, a year of dressing up and exploring my sense of style much further. Making do with a permanent accessory linked on my neck was a fashion choice which for some odd reason gave me a tiny sense of joy. Possibly feeling comfortable in your own skin is a priceless feeling. 

I don't deny it.

2015, a year of i-love-you's and i-miss-you's. Random nights i'd cry myself to sleep, wishing for hugs, hoping for chances to be able to comfort you more. Soon, love. You are the love of my life and i am happy that you are. 

In addition, as you grow older, you learn that some people are worth almost all of your time. The people that you learn to adore and treasure, the people who are there for you through thick and thin, loving you for who you are despite the bad habits and bombastic flatulence. All of you have been so wonderful.

2015, i have definitely changed in a way. For better or worse? Hopefully for the better but i do like myself a little bit more now and that's wonderful.

Let's keep doing our best!