Finding the prettiest things in what seems so tiny, watching the snow fall onto the palm of my hands made me smile. Snow is like thousands of tiny little flowers, falling onto you, each so pretty in its own way and I could not contain my excitement looking at each of them. Winter is a harsh season, but at the same time, it is beautiful in its own way.
It has been 2 weeks since I left. I don't deny it at all that i miss so many things back at home, especially the warm assuring hugs from the boyfriend whenever things are upsetting. Although we have Skype to lessen the distance, it's still not the same and nothing beats being able to stare at each other's eyes while holding hands. Distance often teaches us about many things at once and being grateful is one of them.
Classes have just started and here I am, over thinking about everything trivial that probably doesn't mean much to anyone. "Get a grip, Ida," I told myself often more than twice in a day. Looking at myself from a third point of view of a tiny Asian kid walking among huge halls and smarter-looking individuals is not an assuring thought but at the same time, I have the intense urge to laugh at myself for being so worried. I suppose age doesn't come together with maturity; in which I have a long way more to go to even call myself mature. But the process is an interesting one, I tell myself.
A positive voice in me tells me to go for it. A voice that is often so familiar and warm, a voice of confidence that is often behind closed bars. Reaching out a helping hand to the smaller person in me.
"you don't have to feel like you're being judge. I think most people feel the same way as you do just that you don't realize it," she said. It was completely true.
Do your best, the voice tells me.
In another unrelated topic,
I miss you.
