Moving.

I haven't been blogging for so long, so maybe a change of pace would be pretty nice at this point.

Expectations.

It is undeniably sad when people say that i am sad because i am not grateful of the things in my life when in fact, i have been so grateful each and every day.
And that the sad reality is that they are the ones who have not been grateful.
Nobody wants to be sad, nobody chooses to be depressed.

People expect me to be strong, to be able to take care of them, to cater to their every need, to ask them "are you ok?" and hold their hand through everything, etc. I am glad and happy to do all of that for them.

But i also understand that i cannot expect or wish for them to do the same because as much as you can say with words that you care for me, you were not there when i needed you.
I try not to feel disappointed, i try to understand instead.

And it's the process of understanding, it is what makes me depressed and sad.
At the end of the day, i am still going to be there to care for each and every one of you. Because it is what i can do and it is what you expect me to.

Support.

I'll be back with improvements as soon as possible. Wait for me.

Although miles apart, please please please do your best too, loves. We're all in this together through thick and thin.

Home.

Minus the lack of updates because i'm swarmed with work and endless papers,

home is where the people that you love are ♥(ˆ⌣ˆԅ)

2016

2015 hasn't been so bad now that i've sat and thought to myself about it. Recollecting what once happened in a year of fast-paced going ons here and there left me with so many reflections specifically directed to myself, obviously. Ending 2015 with the love of my life, home cooked dinner and tears was memorable in its own way.

Anywho, a recap since it has been so long since i last blogged!

2015 gave me the chance to step outside of my box, to see more beautiful things in life from a different perspective and mindset, and to challenge myself to be more than just what i have initially thought of in my mind. It's still a long way to go, but i'm really enjoying myself so far.

2015, a year of seasons changing as well as other things that might have impacted the way that i am currently but i digress. Sometimes change can be for the better, sometimes it can be for the worse. Experiences are never for loss, only for gains.

2015, a year of dressing up and exploring my sense of style much further. Making do with a permanent accessory linked on my neck was a fashion choice which for some odd reason gave me a tiny sense of joy. Possibly feeling comfortable in your own skin is a priceless feeling. 

I don't deny it.

2015, a year of i-love-you's and i-miss-you's. Random nights i'd cry myself to sleep, wishing for hugs, hoping for chances to be able to comfort you more. Soon, love. You are the love of my life and i am happy that you are. 

In addition, as you grow older, you learn that some people are worth almost all of your time. The people that you learn to adore and treasure, the people who are there for you through thick and thin, loving you for who you are despite the bad habits and bombastic flatulence. All of you have been so wonderful.

2015, i have definitely changed in a way. For better or worse? Hopefully for the better but i do like myself a little bit more now and that's wonderful.

Let's keep doing our best!

Different.

Counting down to almost a year of being away from comfort zones and constantly stepping on egg shells. Yet, i'm still standing on both my feet, no regrets.

Different pieces of paper, cards, photos, and drawings embellish the bare white walls of this place i call sanctuary, never quite a home for home is where the love of my life is and it is something that i constantly look forward to almost every second of my life. Soon, love. Soon.

Different colored pills to remind me how fragile life is and despite the amount of money or medications put into our system, you're only given one chance and never more. 

Different words of wisdom, a single small piece of fortune cookie paper stuck to the wall which says, "Patience is your ally at the moment. Don't worry!" Something I came upon during the early January days of being stuck in cold and anxiety.

It's been almost a year, who would have thought?

A wonderful journey so far, i'd definitely be sad when it comes to an end.

4 months

In the midst of having so much to do in so little time, here i am. Procrastinating.

4 months have passed and flowers have bloomed at the side of the roads, in many different spring colors that put yourself in a smile. No longer the days of treading through think heavy northern snow nor bundling up in 4 layers or more just for the sake of retrieving mail outside.

A cup of 1$ coffee while waiting for the bus home reminds me of how much i miss having teh tarik in the early morning (while having breakfast together with the bf or even before starting work at the office). Simple pleasures that i never really put much thought into but has a warm feeling in your heart just from thinking about. It's the fact that it has such a positive vibe tied to something that can mean anything to anyone. Teh tarik, that is, in my case. How you wish you could share these new small things you've found with the same people.

As years pass by, i have become more honest with myself and towards others which i constantly wonder if it's ever a bad thing or maybe it's a good one.

Color-coordinated dates and mingling with bunnies. Remember?